THIS IS ME RIGHT NOW... AND THEN LATER I WILL POST ANOTHER ONE!

THIS IS ME AT MY HEAVIEST!

My weight has always been an issue with me.. It has been hard to lose the weight. Some people can say " it's not hard, just don't eat" honestly; until a person has been overweight they don't know the emotional challenges that comes along with the weight. For me, I have hidden behind my weight, and it allowed me to be insecure and "under-active" basically it has allowed me to hide. Yea I love food, but my problem was not really in the food itself but the power of the food to "heal" my emotions and validate what I felt about myself.

Finally, I am overcoming emotions and allowing myself to change from the inside out. I am stepping up and telling myself that I don't need to hide to get active and be happy. Food is not my enemy, food is not my power, food is now my strength I still have my down moments, but I am changing how I eat in my down moments. I am proud of the me that is coming out of hiding. Its the same me, I am who I am, I am not changing, just allowing myself the freedom to be me.

I know the journey has just started and the journey will be a long one but I am healing! I am! Sig Frued once stated that the human mind is like an ice berg only surfaces come in and out and until the ice berg reaches it full heights, emotions are left underneath. My iceberg is not so small anymore! The Titantic can see it! LOL

Mexico Here I Come

Ok, so it has been a long time since I blogged.. Shame on me.. I have the oppertunity of a lifetime-well at least I think so, and that is to go on a Cruise with my mom and sister Ginkers! i have been blessed that this trip has not cost me hardly a thing and I am sooooo excited to go. I have never seen the ocean and I think I will get my fair share of it! I have been saving up all my sick days and I have enough stored up and my boss said to "Go for it"! YEA... and John is so good at supporting me and will take great care of the kids while I am gone. I will have a lot of prep work to do before I go and making sure Hannah has food to eat for school and at home since John is still learning all about the Gluten Free Living! Its all good, I am a mom and that what I do.. :)

My mom and I are leaving a day early and taking the Amtrak to Chicago and then meeting up with Ginkers and then we have our own sleeper car and that will be fun! Then we get to New Orleans on Friday and will have all day and all night and then load up for our Cruise on Sat and head to Progresso and then Cozumel Mexico! Can someone give me a HOO-HAAA! YEA

I know that money is tight---at least for us--and God has given me the ability to go without adding to much financial strain on John! Thanks God! Thanks
Babe!

This all has prompted my weight loss journey! I have lost 28.5 pounds so far and looking forward in losing more!
I joined the gym and am finally a faithful member-and I joined a spinning class and can't believe how much I love it! I am getting healthy, getting my family healthy and loving it! I think the Cruise is an added bonus for losing weight! What a gift!

Life

I guess I need to get caught up in my blogging-I have been kinda busy lately! Anyway, yesterday I was looking out my kitchen window and then I saw John, my wonderful husband, on a kiddie bike, wearing Johnny's El Tora Loco hat with horns sticking out of it. It brought a huge smile to my face and I starting thinking how amazing he is, better yet how lucky I am!
We can have our moments, we are NOT perfect and most times he can make me so mad that I want to scream, but then we have the moments where he makes me smile, or makes me a bubble bath, calls me in the day to tell me he loves me. Sometimes he will text me things, well lets just say I cannot put on the Internet..LOL The good always makes up for the rough patches!

I wish that I could magically fix things in our marriage to make it more solid-like finances! I think money is the root of many relationship issues. John and I have not always been responsible, and then when we try to be responsible we mess it too! Lately we have been trying to adapt to Dave Ramseys Get out of Debt strategy, I am not doing so well on that. We have knocked out over $3,000.00 in debt.. Yea.. I am shocked too..it just seems like the more we pay off the more that accumulates!
I try to make a budget-honest I do- its t he sticking to it that is hard. I am a problem with needing to make sure everyting is ok and that everyone has what they need ( or think they need) that I don't leave enough money for my bills or enough money for whatever I would need money for. LOL!
I think if I could get the entire family on board with not going to wal-mart just because etc, it could be ok.. I am starting to figure out that I can save money and still feed Hannah good food, its still expensive for me, but its not like it was in the beginning!
Anyway, today I was thinking: Lena, it is time for your life to start.. stop playing house, this is for real.. wake up!!!! How? How does one just admit defeat? How do they be responsible? How do they change? So, as I am blogging my LIFE, I am contemplating many new changes......but I may need advice!
How did I go from loving my husband to changing my life all in one blog? To sum it up.. Its me! LOL.. I go from A-Z in 5, no Waite 2 seconds.. LOL

YES! PIZZA!

Ok, so Hannah and I finally found a pizza crust mix that we love, love, love! The best part is...it was cheap! I think I paid 4.69 for a bag and I can make a 2 huge pizza's. I think now I am going to make a bunch of personal pan pizza crust that I can freeze and then when we need a pizza we can thaw it out and put our toppings on it. Wal-Mart labels their pizza sauce as Gluten Free so this is a wonderful find for us! I can also make bread sticks for us and mixed with yummy salad it would be perfect! I am sooo excited!

I just wanted to share this with the world!

Johnny's Concert

Look at my handsome son! He worked so hard for his solo that he had..I am so proud of him! Johnny loves to perform and he loves everyones attention! I think Johnny is going to grow up to be something amazing. He is so many things: ornery, intelligent, adorable, fire-cracker and a talker. I am a proud mom even though at times I want to pull my hair out.. LOL

more picks of Hannah's B-day Party!

They had a blast

Bike Racing!

Jason and Joyce

John and Conner hanging out


Me and John.. What a hottie! I guess Johns not bad looking either..LOL

Karen and myself! Karen knows how to pack a lunch let me tell you she not only goes to watch her husband bike race but she also goes to take care of him afterwards how supportive

This is Conner, I had to show this photo, he makes the most funniest faces!

Here is Jason showing us the bike track he was racing. It was rocky then I did not hear much more because they found a dead snake and I have a huge fear of snakes dead or alive..

Here is Jay in most of his gear. How hot that must be to wear that-YIKES! He does have this backpact thing that holds water and he can drink it through and attached straw...It was a very hot day and John and I wished we would have gotten there earlier, next time we will. John was proud of his brother, and enjoyed watching him race. The proudest moment was the beginning and we all cheered for Jason as he "took off"!